Today I celebrated my 37th birthday. I specifically asked friends and family for no gift or cake. If you want to give something, a birthday wish on Whatsapp suffices.

My professor once remarked in class that major milestones in life happen during the “square years”, which means the years which are perfect squares. For those who couldn’t recall school math, perfect squares are the numbers that can be written as N x N, where N is an integer. For example:

1 x 1 = 1,

2 x 2 = 4,

3 x 3 = 9,

4 x 4 = 16,

so 1, 4, 9, 16, and so on, are perfect squares.

Life can be divided into stages based on the perfect squares.

0 to 1: Baby.

1 to 4: Kids develop intelligence. They absorb learning data from their environment, just like an AI machine (except they don’t need billions of data sets). At this stage, kids develop a “picture” of the world via their senses.

4 to 9: The end of toddlerhood. Kids this age start to develop their own internal logic and constantly ask questions. Often rambunctious creatures with their own unique personalities.

9 to 16: Reign of Hormones. Puberty, sexual discovery, and development of sexual reproduction ability.

16 to 25: Early adulthood. Basically, impostors who have no idea what they are doing. Some get married.

25 to 36: Finally, they have some ideas.

36 to 49: By now, people are supposed to have adulting all figured out. Some indications of aging will appear but still considered young.

49 to 64: The new young.

64 to 81: The new middle-aged.

81 to 100: The new golden years.

100 to 121: Old.

Note: This is not a scientific theory. I made all of these up.

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